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Author Topic: The Best Hunter In The Fucking Town of Tallahassee  (Read 7182 times)
timeshot
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« on: April 21, 2008, 10:57:43 AM »

Forum Account Name: Timeshot   
Name:  Artist Formerly Known As
Class: Hunter
RL Sex: I was born into this earth pissing testosterone. However, as soon as I realized that I was retarded, I quickly retreated and opted for a transgender fix which enables me to become female and make massive quantities of bank working as a stripper/escort (females at an early age were given the godly gift of the vagina). Soon after my surgery, I was told I looked nothing like a female when applying for a job and therefore had wasted my money. My dreams came crashing down on me like a burning hot air balloon holding a white supremacist colliding into the inner depths of tribal African lands. I was bummed. Even more I was angry. I went back to the surgeon and requested a refund or a take back or to make me another penis, but apparently there are no refunds in post transgender surgery. I reported them to the BBB and threatened them to court, but no lawyers would take my case. So as for now I am female, but I was once a man with a penis that rivaled the Greek gods. I really hope that won’t affect this app.
Summary of Talent Spec: for PvP (which I am more a prominent fan of because the adrenaline rush was like downing synthetic heroine without doing it) I was 0/42/19 and then 41/20/0 (I did not play season 3 due to my situation with my penis/vagina change). For PvE, I enjoyed doing a variation of a marksman build or a beast master build, because sometimes the beast needed to be unleashed from its cage.
Amory Profile Link:
Timezone: Eastern but I might possibly move to Bermuda where I hear time is not of the essence.
Playtime: I play anywhere from 16 to 42 hours a week. I usually play late nights to
We raid Sunday through Thursday from 6pm - 10pm (PST) how many days can you attend consistently?:  that would be 9-1 am in my time (I majored in time zone conversion in my brief tenure at Oxford), meaning I would be able to attend if not all, none of those days.
Guild history on any server, include time in each guild (this will be verified): on the Toon I want to app on, there is absolutely no guild history as the history books have been burned during the ‘nam invasion as well as many children. May god bless their souls.
Raid Experience: (What is the farthest you've been in WoW?) I have been through the inner walls of C’thun to the Massacre and slaying of Kelthuzad, to lately the forceful gangbanging of Lady Vashj (when I had a penis) and Prince Kaelthelas (Vagina). In terms of PvP I was actively involved in competition at the 2K brackets but to do unfortunate circumstances that is all.
MMORPG Game History: I would count Zelda Ocarina of Time as MMORPG because that game is pretty badass and was basically the forefather of WoW. I spent many hours bashing my head against the wall at my failure to defeat Ganandorf. I also played Mario RPG for quite some time and defeated the Smithy Gang which is a valiant show of courage and pro skills.
Unbuffed resists (arcane/fire/frost/nature/shadow): I have none of these but I’ve had immunizations for Hepatitis and Polio.
Are you attuned to the Black Temple or Hyjal? Absolutely not
If not, which steps do you still need? Wasn’t this removed like my penis that I had once had?
Heroic Keys? I use to have all of them but I always loose my fucking keys.
Casual member references: Due to being ashamed of my hideous nature, I have been a recluse for quite some time so I doubt any of you know me. But you may know my father, Jesus H. Christ. So if you don’t accept me you’re probably going to have to answer to him. And. You. Do. Not. Fuck. With. Jesus.


SUPER IMPORTANT:
-If you could fight any historical figure, who would it be and why? I would be General Lee so I could liberate the south once again. Long live the confederacy.
-Are you willing to legally change your last name to "McDuck" in order to join Casual? I’ve changed so many things about me that I thought would be better but it ended up worse. So no. Fuck you. I will not change my name to McDuck. Possibly Reginald. But not McDuck.
-Big Lebowski or Caddyshack? The dude man. The dude.
-If you could be any mythical creature, who would it be and why? I would be the yeti because he is a prime specimen of Alpha Male Dominance and is probably packing. I would then use my superior strength to fuck up Kimbo Slice and your guild leader and officers if I am not accepted.  Next step, rule the world.

Mandatory questions:
With server transfers available, there are many, many choices of raid guilds available to you. Why Casual? Because of your wordy verbage in your boss kill posts and your nonchalance at playing this game. Playing so effortlessly and enjoying it, savoring it, like the last scoop of ice cream. You are the penis and I am the condom looking for a penis to fit into, which would be you. That’s the best way I could put it.
Name your top five favorite Songs: 1.) Boyz in the Hood by Niggaz Wit Attitude 2.) Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division 3.) Hero by Enrique Iglesias 4.) The Calendar Hung Itself by Bright Eyes 5.) PDA by Interpol
Name your top five favorite Movies: Pulp Fiction (WHO THE FUCK IS MARCELLUS WALLACE) , Debbie Does Dallas (Classic), Donnie Darko, The Good Bad and Ugly, Anal Annihilation Seven or Mortal Kombat Annihilation.
What is your life like outside of WoW? On an Average day, I wake up at the crack of dawn and venture into the forest in search of the said Yeti to fashion into a J. Crew Peacoat for the winter. I stop after 1 hour and 30 minutes of search. After, I usually travel to the city fraternizing with local whores and other vagabonds while attempting to sell my body so I can pay for my rent check. Then I hibernate. And play wow continuously. It’s a rough life I lead.
Name 3 WoW related sites and discuss how they are useful tools for bettering your raiding ability:
 - www.spankwire.com - the exercise I get for consistent masturbation does wonders for my reflex time and flexibility of my fingers.
 - www.synapse.subneural.net/~denon/waldo/ - where’s waldo does wonders for my situational awareness
 - the hunter discussions on any EJ board or hunter forum.
Do you have a microphone? If not, is it because you are cheap or shy? Yes. I rock the Mic right.
Can your computer run Ventrilo? (Note: we are not changing our codecs to suit your Mac lifestyle.) I believe so.
Are you a keyboard turner? Do monkeys shit bananas?
Are you a clicker? I’m really more of a hunter/gatherer
What is your greatness weakness as a WoW player? How are you trying to improve this aspect of your play? I would like to improve my DPS to a level that would fuck up Vegeta’s power scale reader. I really have made no effort whatsoever to improve this aspect of play because Vegeta is a fucking fictional character in a fucking Japanese anime. I hate the japs. And the Koreans.
What is your your greatest strength as a WoW player? I believe that would be PvP as to that’s all I really cared about about as well as my amazing abilities to do well in raids and then wipe them after killing the boss. So not only did I kill the boss. I killed 24 other people as well. I rule.

Choose 4 of the following (you will not be given extra points for answering more questions than the minimum):
-If you were to respec, which build would you choose? Why? Beastmaster for reasons too obvious to state.
-If you had to join another guild on this server, which one would it be? Why? Sarcastic and Drunk, I am being Sarcastic and I am drunk.
-What do you see as the current strengths of your particular class/spec in a raid setting? Our ability to continuously deal damage without being limited by our aggro due to our ability to drop it like its hot.
-What do you see as the current weaknesses of your particular class/spec in a raid setting? Uh mana efficiency
-How do you prepare for new raid content that you've never experienced? Rigorous 12 hour workouts on my bow flex and 3 hours of meditation to prepare for the horrors that lie ahead.
-What is your least favorite part of high end guilds? The attitude of nazism and treating raiding like its fucking cancer and we have to beat it.


 
-If you were an attention whore, what kind of attention whore would you be? The kind with pubis hair done into corn rows
-In the event of a zombie invasion, where would you choose to take shelter and what is your weapon of choice to defend yourself? I would shelter in Israel because zombies won’t go there.
-If an ancient Sumerian deity was about to destroy the world, and you could choose the form they appeared as, what would you pick? Bowser aka King Koopa
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Stent
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Hungry Wizard
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pride and prejudice and zombies


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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2008, 10:59:55 AM »

Ok, this used to be funny, now its tiring.

DIGO!  TO THE HALL OF SHAME!
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‹aquashee› e equals mass times deez nuts, biatch
timeshot
tubgirl
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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2008, 11:02:45 AM »

are you prepared to answer to jesus?
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Bag
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Mr.Hands
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« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2008, 11:05:23 AM »

is this a practical joke?
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Like Broseph Stalin, you are leading the way to the dictatorship of the broletariate. It is truly revbrolutionary. Like the Bro v. Wade of our generation. You brobliterate the enemy from the very peak of Mt. Brolympus. That's some shit. That's brolific. But that's the kind of bro you are.
Digo
Daddy Digo
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Mr.Hands
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broken shell of a man


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« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2008, 11:20:47 AM »

      zarra2099@yahoo.com

Have fun with this.
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timeshot
tubgirl
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« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2008, 11:25:41 AM »

don't
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monmoth
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« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2008, 11:37:26 AM »

don't post on forums that anyone can see then.
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