It's unfortunate that Blizzard could not hire the Crabtech to design quests. I'm not sure if it is ironic or disturbing that the best quest line in the past twelve months has been one created by another player, but it has. Perhaps it is the fundamental allure of the crab?

This Crabtech saga goes back a long ways. Many moons ago I set out to pursue the life of a Crab Technician, so I sought out the one true Crab. He guided me to a set of adventures and quests to prove my loyalty to the crab. The adventure was full of danger and spies, all wanting to steal the secrets of the Crab.

After warding off the ill advances of those not loyal to the Crab Technician ways, I began my long lonely journey to prove myself worthy. By offering the Technican a healthy dose of Shellfish, I was able to gain an audience:

For those unfamiliar with Naxxramas, Mr. Bigglesworth is the first boss that guards the entrance, patrolling the immediate area for intruders. To kill Mr. Bigglesworth is to risk an eternity of suffering in Naxxramas with no prayer of escaping.

It was more difficult than you can imagine to defy the Crab Technician on the first quest, but it had to be done. Mr. Bigglesworth was a loyal guardian of Naxxramas and not an evil thug like Patchwerk.

Much to my satisfaction, I quickly learned that the Technician wa a crafty one, challenging young Crab Apprentives at every turn. The first real challenge was to prove yourself a master hunter and master chef.

As the dark legend hinted, the path of the Crab Technician was heavily rooted in knowing the ins and outs of the kitchen.

Days later I mustered the courage and fortitude to fufill this request. During my adventures I learned the hard way that any bowl of Spiced Chili Crab should not be eaten with a plastic spoon, so as not to jeapordize my ocular safety.

Moving on from culinary exploration, the Technician had me branch out to the role of Gnome Scientist and explorer.

Unfortunately, the Blizzard gods did not deem these lava crabs worthy of culinary delight or companionship. Fuckers.

Satisifed my research was complete, I eagerly awaited a reply.

By far the most difficult assignment, the chance and challenge of discovering the true meaning of the Crab. I spent weeks, maybe months, exploring all aspects of the Brachyura infraorder. I put everything I had into this challenge, foregoing food and drink for days at a time. After extensive research, I eventually discovered the one truth about the Crabs. They are eternal, and they are intense. The only way I could demonstrate this knowledge and learning period was to show my true appreciation for the Crab.

- Spleh

- Junior Crab Technician